" it's all Tulips "

When life throws you curve balls,

When life seems grey and dull,

When your hair isn't working,

When it seems like your world is at an end,

BREATHE. SMILE. 

and think

" it's all tulips "

the new love that lives in my garden....

his green,

his friendly,

my mum saved him from a window at the hospital,

he makes me smile

smiles are important at the moment

girlfriends/guyfriends/and all the bits in between.

i hold my friends on a pedestal 

without them i would be lost

without them i would not be the silly person i am

without them i would not have silly memories

without them i would not know how to share

without them i would be lost

There are places I'll remember

All my life, though some have changed

Some forever, not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends, I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life, I've loved them all 

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I'll love you more 

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I'll love you more 

.

In  My Life - The Beatles 

opening up in the country

I spent a few days alone at my parents beautiful farm before my friends all came along

to join me and celebrate life.

The few days I had to myself were just what I needed.

I find that after a while i need to get away somewhere quiet, no sound, no people, somewhere beautiful and crisp

and serene.

And Narrabinda offers all of the above.

I arrived on Wednesday lunchtime, and remember driving up to the first gate and not seeing a car drive past, not hearing anything but the slight baa from a sheep or the faint moo of a cow in a paddock across the way.

i smiled.

i was so ready to let my mind wander, and think over things.

I drove down the long windy drive and parked up under the tree.

My mum had given me a list of things to do once i got there.

( turn on the water tanks, turn on the gas, and most importantly turn on the power )

but first things first ...

I had my two babies to greet and spoil before i did any of that,

as i walked into their paddock Jett and Georgie gave me a welcome whinny .

there is something about the smell of horses that is so soothing to me

I got lots of cuddles and also got a cheeky bite from Jett who was expecting some sort of horsie treat.

patience little man patience.

So I unpacked. Settled in. Turned up the tunes really loud. And got straight into farm duties.

HORSES FED.

COWS FED.

WOOD COLLECTED.

FIRE STARTED.

WINE FRIDGED.

CHEESES FRIDGED.

After all the chores were complete it was time to relax with a wine and take in the beauty.

Although the afternoon was slightly overcast, i still managed to walk up through my mums garden and take a seat on the hill and prepare for the amazing sunset that was too be.

From way up there on the hill you can see the long stretch of road , i think i was sat there for 30 mins before a lone car past by.

this is why i love the country

Not having to entertain people, cook for people, and just be with people gave me a lot of time to think about things that are happening in my life at the moment.

The first thing that i needed to get off my mind was my mums battle.

Having no one around gave me the chance to cry without feeling like a sook or having someone tell me its going to be alright. 

i really needed that cry

Sometimes crying is the best way to build up strength. After i let all my built up tears out i felt stronger and i felt like i could be the supportive daughter i really needed to be.

I havent cried about my mums battle since the day I found out about it, Im always trying to be the strong one ( apart from my amazing dad) holding the ropes and keeping it all cool, calm and collected.

So these tears were a build up of about 6 months. So as you imagine there were plenty.

After my cry. I smiled. Took a massive deep breath in. And again looked around at the magical place i was at.

The sun set, and the colours were magic.

Its amazing how certain colours can change your emotions.

Its like certain songs can change your emotions.

The sunset I experienced made me feel happy, warm and in love.

.

I live with an amazing girl who has the most amazing soul in the world.

The night before i left to go to the farm, she showed me her journal, she didn't read it to me, she just told me that when her head is all busy , she writes, it keeps her sane.

I took her words on board, and wrote

and wrote

and wrote

and wrote

I wrote my feelings to my mum, i wrote what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, what angers me...

my hand cramped up

the words were just flowing and my pen wouldn't work faster..

I dont think i would/ could ever give the letter to my mum

perhaps one day i will

but for the moment I like to think my emotions are out there , floating around

and one day they will reach my mum

when i have the courage to give it too her,

and when she has the strength to take it all in.

I also thought about the beautiful sunset I experienced and how the colours made me feel and I began drawing and doodling my mum a picture, using colours that make me feel happy, warm and in love..

if it can make me feel all these emotions, I'd hope I could pass it on to my best friend.

x

Narrabinda, Binda, NSW.

no need for a description.

these pictures tell a thousand words.

Music, Wine and Cheese.

I hadn't seen my beautiful friend Madelyn for quite a while,

and felt in urgent we got together

had some wine, cheese and a giggle.

we packed up the picnic basket and trotted down to Dee Why Beach

and to our delight the smooth sound of Blues chimed across the beach.

for the month or march , every sunday Dee Why Beach hosts a free gig for all too see.

we had such a beautiful afternoon, the weather was perfect, the company even better.

with milkshakes for dessert.

placement

finding the appropriate areas for all your things is tricky, when your limited to space

and your an owner of lots of crap.

somehow you always manage to find the right place.

our first meal
   -
and a beautiful welcome to our home letter from my beautiful libs

M.I.A

i have been lost.

i have been busy.

i finally have settled into my new home.

however have not yet found a super deal for internet connection

so been rather lost in the world without the www.

these are the last pics i took of my home before i ran out the door screaming YAHOO.

my bare room, all my frames and things packed away.

A Million Cardboard Boxes.....

so after days and days of sorting, deciding and chucking then packing...

i am finally ready to make the move...

dee why beach.. welcome me with open arms cause i'ma comin'...

it all begins tomorrow. load up the car and get it all into the garage.

then a massive big clean before we settle.

tonight is my last night with my beautiful mumma and pappa , and secretly i am 

going to miss them.....

stay tuned 

Agree to Disagree

And when you smile those sad eyes
Look sadder and sadder still

Trying to hold it together
Keep my love as light as a feather
Sad eyes baby it's been such a long time
Keep my heart breaking in the dark
Come and spend the night
Sad Eyes - Bat for Lashes

there is nothing worse then disagreements with friends,

heated discussions, or not being able to communicate face to face....

I feel that disagreements over the phone are left unfinished and the matter still lingers in the air , left unresolved.

everyone has their side of a subject, a story, a meaning.

no- one has the correct answer

people need to let go and listen

listen to what their friends are telling them

before jumping down their throats 

i hate disagreeing with people i agree with so much

A Change in the Weather

in a year we see changes

people change, styles change, weather changes

everything is constantly changing

this weekend has been a change for me

i began packing my life up

my life being everything in my bedroom and the odd wine glass in the kitchen

i packed my clothes, shoes, perfumes, and all my little bits and bobs

into boxes, bags and anything that would allow me to squish things in

and anything that couldn't fit, well that got donated to the Salvation Army.

which makes me happy

Libby and I move into our new place very soon... 

thought i'd share with you some happy snaps of the new place....

cannot wait to make it my own.. add my bits and bobs, my antiques.

our super long hallway.. keep in mind libby can sprint it up and back again in 12 seconds its long.

its empty yes

but i have a lot of full boxes and bags that will make this place

our humble little home.

stay tuned