happy saturday daisies x

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so quick to judge

when really

you have no idea

keep your lame thoughts and opinions to yourself

onezerozero

one hundred posts

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im excited more for the fact i started something and am still doing it

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snaps to me

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..... oh, and PS:

my drink bottle is better then yours

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.

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ha.

i've found it

after many down days

after plenty of friend time and talk

my beautiful friends have encouraged me to start a journal..

to start writing when things are tough

or when i'm feeling angry

or happy

or just feeling.

i used to write in a journal long long ago

but one day someone i loved and hold so close to my heart read it

and from then... i never wrote my feelings on paper.

after conversations with my dearest most amazing friend 

i thought it was time again to put pen to paper and let my mind spill into words

i know i write on here all the time and i'm very open with my life on here...

but somethings need to be written for only your eyes too see

for your sanity

for your soul

for your heart

.

i didn't want any journal 

i wanted one that was me

one that when i look at it makes me love me

i hunted high and low

for weeks, months

i wasn't settling

i find sometimes i settle on second best

not this time

this was important for me, 

for my mind

for my happiness

.

Walking through my favourite book store today

i just love browsing

i love the smell of bookstores

i love the thought of how many amazing stories pile the shelves

i walked past a shelf and accidentally bumped some things onto the ground with my bag

( nothing breakable thank god )

i picked them up and popped them back onto the shelf 

and on that shelf 

all alone

with no other journals around it

was this one

i wanted to cry

.

this universe is amazing

awesome things happen when you need them most

thankyou universe

thankyou oversized big bag

and 

thankyou favourite bookstore

x

feeling it

i's doing things that make me happy from now on

not that i never was

but today 

i searched

i found it

my inspiration.

stay tuned 

x

9:50am Blues

missing the magical sunsets

at

Narrabinda ...

a photo a day

taken at Sydney Aquarium

#2

paint

extreme hangover

extreme boredom

.

out come the face paints and glitter

.

la la la

.

Happy Good Friday Dollies

x

blank.

no words.

just awesome amazing friends making my life amazing.

thankyou daisies x

Hero

im sitting here with a beer by my side and every single candle i could find in my house burning.

im sitting here being the brave daughter 

trying to hold back the sadness and trying to be positive.

being positive is hard.

its hard when you have to watch someone you love so much suffer so many set backs on a journey to good health.

my beautiful amazing strong glorious mother has battled through a nasty ( almost ) year

taking verbal blows about her health....

the past ( almost year ) she has lost things no one would ever dream of losing

she has had to take in on the chin and keep on fighting..

the whole time she has done it with her big brave face and her smile..

she has cried tears, we've all cried tears

she's held back tears, we've all held back tears

she's thrown things in a moment of anger, we did too

and last but not least

she has sworn really loud and asked WHY?

..

so have we.

it's moments like this in life which test your strength

which test your will to keep on fighting

which allows you to ask questions you never thought you would have to ask

.

.

i now look at my mum

and i feel the tears making there way up the back of my eyes

i feel that tingly sensation and my vision blurs

but i have to stop, take a breath

i am so lucky to have such an amazing, strong mother too look up too

she is a fighter.. and believe me, she does not go down without a fight

i hope that i will one day be able to conquer my fears like she does

shit  has hit the ceiling time and time again the past few months and even at the worst of times

she still manages to hold it in and say :

" oh shit poop bum bugger "

and get on with the fighting.

sorry to swear but 

I FUCKING LOVE MY MUM SO MUCH

she is my best friend

she is my little aussie battler

x

when life throws you assholes.....

when life is feeling nasty and feels like testing your emotions

with the everyday girlie ups and downs...

what do you do?

you get in the kitchen and turn Kylie Kwong on its ass...

you take every un used un touched ingredient from the fridge/cupboard/pantry or even under the sink if it been a hard hard day

you chop

you cook 

and WA LA

( dont forget the many glasses of red to compliment the cooking )

and best of all...

is when you have left overs for lunch the next day...

x

keep groovin' daisies 

doesnt look appetising... but believe me... if you could taste...

sooo much chilli... YUM

angry

just having one of those days where nothing seems to go your way...

i mean honestly...

sliding door comes off hinges, glass door smashes all over loungeroom, 

our front door is boarded up till glass gets cut to size, only one security key for the door,

exhaustion.

.....

i needed to vent away from people i love so dearly 

i drove , with my music loud

and sat and watched the waves crash

it was peaceful

cold..!

but peaceful.

thankyou beautiful ocean for calming me

x

and to top it off i came home and had a bath and laid in it till the water went cold

again...

thankyou beautiful water for calming me

as cute as a button..

this beautiful little man is Ralph

my beautiful friend Gaby and her husband John welcomed him into the world on the 

20th of December 2010

he is the most chilled, relaxed, happy with life baby I have ever seen

and well...

i just love him so much....

....

and finally his little slippers fit him 

x

x

Our Very Warm House

Last night our beautiful friends and lovers helped us celebrate our glorious little home...

many drinks were drunk and the fruit platter i ordered got demolished..

jelly shots ( all 150 of them ) got polished off

and many giggles were had...

thank you to all the daisies that came and blossomed and made it a fun night 

x

i love my new home