i've found it

after many down days

after plenty of friend time and talk

my beautiful friends have encouraged me to start a journal..

to start writing when things are tough

or when i'm feeling angry

or happy

or just feeling.

i used to write in a journal long long ago

but one day someone i loved and hold so close to my heart read it

and from then... i never wrote my feelings on paper.

after conversations with my dearest most amazing friend 

i thought it was time again to put pen to paper and let my mind spill into words

i know i write on here all the time and i'm very open with my life on here...

but somethings need to be written for only your eyes too see

for your sanity

for your soul

for your heart

.

i didn't want any journal 

i wanted one that was me

one that when i look at it makes me love me

i hunted high and low

for weeks, months

i wasn't settling

i find sometimes i settle on second best

not this time

this was important for me, 

for my mind

for my happiness

.

Walking through my favourite book store today

i just love browsing

i love the smell of bookstores

i love the thought of how many amazing stories pile the shelves

i walked past a shelf and accidentally bumped some things onto the ground with my bag

( nothing breakable thank god )

i picked them up and popped them back onto the shelf 

and on that shelf 

all alone

with no other journals around it

was this one

i wanted to cry

.

this universe is amazing

awesome things happen when you need them most

thankyou universe

thankyou oversized big bag

and 

thankyou favourite bookstore

x