i woke on the 13th of June 2011 to a phone call from my younger brother...
"SARAH WAKE UP "
i jumped out of bed , still asleep, but knowing in my heart something was wrong...
i ran to the front door..
there in the car waiting for me was my dad and my brother
my heart stopped
in that second i grabbed whatever clothes i could get from the ground and chucked them on.
i jumped into the big old creaky 4WD and belted up and we set off to the hospital
it wasn't till two seconds after i was in the car and took a deep breathe, that i asked :
" whats happening? "
dad explained that he had received a call from the ladies up at the hospital and they said mum wasn't doing very well and they thought it best we be up there to say our goodbyes....
i was crying on the inside, i was bawling, yelling screaming.. but on the outside i was speechless, emotionless, expressionless.
after for what seemed like the longest car ride to the hospital ever we raced into the ward.
only to be greeted by a nurse
her words crushed me
" I'm sorry "
it took me sometime to process exactly what i had just been told, and in that time i thought how hard it would be to be her, the nurse.
to deliver such sad , numbing news to people....
i wondered how many different reactions she would have seen
it takes a special person to work in that ward
a strong person with so much love
so much strength to deliver such crushing words.
i was surrounded by my beautiful dad , and my beautiful brother.
we were told she had passed just after 9am .
we arrived at 9.20am
FUCK was what i thought
but
THANKYOU was all i could say
i was thankful that my beautiful, peaceful mother was now at peace.
it was a week on monday.
i am a lost soul.
i know it will all get better with time.
and i know she is watching over me.
but shit it hurts.
not a day passes that i don't think about her.
